Name: Kirsty Close
Title: Accounts Assistant
Batchelors Location: Group
Hometown: Clifton, York—born, raised, and still trying to make a great escape

If spreadsheets had a rebellious side, they’d probably look a lot like Kirsty Close. As our Accounts Assistant, Kirsty keeps the numbers in check across the group—but don’t let the job title fool you, there’s plenty of personality behind those perfectly balanced figures.

A Clifton local through and through, Kirsty admits she’s “still can’t get out”—though we’re not entirely convinced she’s trying that hard. After all, when you’ve got everything you need (and a steady supply of dirty burgers), why leave?

Speaking of food, Kirsty’s comfort meal is not for the faint-hearted: a proper dirty burger, loaded with ketchup and extra bacon. Subtle? Absolutely not. Delicious? Without a doubt.

Her car history is just as iconic, featuring a Lada Riva—yes, really. And if dreams come true, she’ll one day upgrade to a Yugo. Forget supercars—Kirsty’s taste is proudly, unapologetically unique.

When she’s not keeping the accounts in order, Kirsty swaps calculators for knitting needles. Her signature move? Hand-knitting jumpers for the entire family every single Christmas. That’s right—festive knitwear is not optional, it’s tradition.

Travel-wise, Kirsty keeps her ambitions refreshingly grounded. Skegness is firmly on the bucket list, but her standout trip so far? A full week in Hull—and she’ll have you know it was brilliant.

As a child, Kirsty dreamed of becoming an astronaut—proof that she’s always had her head in the stars, even if her feet are firmly planted in Yorkshire.

And when it comes to music, that sweet, orderly accountant vibe goes straight out the window. Kirsty is all about punk—The Sex Pistols, Public Image Ltd, and any punk revival gig she can get a ticket for. Spreadsheets by day, mosh pit by night.

Quirky, loyal, and brilliantly original, Kirsty brings both precision and personality to the team. Just don’t expect a quiet Christmas—there will be jumpers.